GRADUATION
Writing to kick off the summer vacation from summer vacation
I’ve lived in LA since October of 2021, which means I’ve covered four falls and three summers- basically exactly four school years- in this city. If post-grad life gave out diplomas, I’d be receiving my degree in “Los Angeles” right about now.
I’m aware that’s like, the most arbitrarily constructed division of time possible, but it doesn’t feel to me much more random than celebrating a birthday. It’s also how my friends and I would attempt to wrap our heads around the formless passage of time we found ourselves wading in as we began the endless summer vacation that is living in LA.
After moving to West Hollywood, the first bar we frequented was Bar Lubitsch on Santa Monica, whose red interior and sweat laced atmosphere weirdly mimicked Evanston’s 18-year-old-friendly bar, “the Deuce,” whose liquor license was funded entirely by fake ID’s and thus felt like it could dissolve into dust and flames at any given moment. Frat parties were replaced with nights at the Abbey, dancing with one hand in your pocket to make sure your wallet wasn’t getting stolen- no idea why that’s so prevalent in West Hollywood- maybe it’s because a lot of the remote-working class congregates in that area.
The comparison of each year of post-grad to a corresponding one from college is intentionally loose and the analogy falls apart very easily when held against any kind of scrutiny, but when it came to relationships built and lost, endeavors begun and then swiftly abandoned, life became easier to understand when I could interpret my first apartment in LA as the new Shepard Hall, and the house I would move to in Atwater Village my new 1616 Hinman Avenue. It might have been a way of normalizing how young and clueless I felt about being… young and clueless in a new city all over again- but this time with no advisors or modules or credits I could collect or structures I could climb to have some sense of direction- specifically that pointed “upwards.”
However, there is no degree that comes with four-years of post-grad life, at least not when that life is happening nebulously amongst clowns and bards and surfers and miscreants in the tropical desert slash concrete dystopia of Southern California– a place where you mostly only loosely ever consider the time of day when it informs how much sunscreen to apply or the decision of whether or not to pack a layer.
In many ways, I’ve preferred that kind of distance from popular institutions- there was something I resented about the feeling that the sound of my name only had weight to it when it was presented in purple text with the name “Northwestern University” placed next to it– an easily understood point of view if you were on a college campus in 2020, specifically one that released police dogs on you when you yelled too loud that police shouldn’t kill people. For that reason, my taxes for the first year or two out of college were pieced together from a weird combination of 1099’s that somehow, when filed, would wipe half the money from my bank account, not because I had done anything wrong, but because I had done everything “right.”
The goal of being aimless and unattached comes naturally to many, but for me represented a radical shift, as I was formerly one of those arrogant and obnoxious teenagers who remained steadfastly convinced that I would someday be President, all while simultaneously crafting the worst digital footprint a person could amass at every given opportunity. Which explains why my structureless life inevitably found shape: my degree in Los Angeles has been accredited through the production and performance of countless comedy shows, pieces of theatre, short films, musical projects, paintings, writings, and countless hours scheduled with friends across the sprawling suburbs that have, in turn, almost gifted me an understanding of which highways do what in this city.
I started this newsletter my “sophomore year” of LA. Funny enough, I started taking playwriting classes during my sophomore year of college. Last year, when I turned 25, I produced my 24-hour film festival for the first time and got scared by its success– “Oh man, but I’m only a junior! How will I top this at the end of my senior year??” No worries, reader, I did, and will send the RIFF 2025 films to you all shortly. But tbh, this year, I’ve slacked on the newsletter- call it senioritis.
The main reason is that I was struck by the sudden sense that writing a substack is embarrassing– could I be the first Indian guy to be diagnosed with Hannah Horvath syndrome??
But mostly I haven’t written as much because the older and smarter I get, the younger and dumber I feel. Every new thing I see proves how much left there is to learn. A lot that I have written or have read on here honestly has seemed to come from this perspective that a writer knows how to live, and you need to listen to us. But honestly, what the fuck do I know? I have a lot to say for anyone looking to leave college and pursue a life of creating theatre in backyards or randomly running a film festival, but I have no idea what will work for basically any other person with any other way of life. For as many ideas as I may have about everything, I couldn’t actually tell you, evidenced by any sort of track record, how to get a promotion at work or study for an exam or play the stock market or do a successful album rollout or win an election. I guess if you want to cry on screen or get better at drawing or do Just Okay at your screen test at Warner Brothers though, I’m your guy.
Honestly, I’m glad to have that feeling of humility, because it constantly forces me to ask myself what I actually have to say, to critically wonder what my perspective could possibly add to a world populated with too many words as-is. So for the past few weeks, I’ve tried to make a list of everything I’ve learned during my unconventional education these last few years in Los Angeles, and have narrowed down a list of about 140 sentiments into the top-100. Don’t let the numbers fool you though, these are literally in no particular order.
Most Indian food in LA is terrible
The last hour of a road trip is the longest.
If you like a pair of shorts, get 6 pairs of them in different colors, especially if they’re on sale.
I like the person I am when I’m early much more than the person I am when I’m late.
Walking home at night might seem like a good idea because walking is good for you and some parts of LA are walkable god dammit, however at night you will always forget there are coyotes and you will also forget if coyotes are dangerous and honestly no one on the internet seems to be very certain about if they’re dangerous or not either
Leadership involves not just organizing people, but inspiring them.
Art galleries are the best value activity- looking at really amazing stuff for literally free.
Metal furniture is easier to put together than wooden but any furniture you have to build will not be a vibe.
When cooking for Thanksgiving, most dishes will have to be made at the same time, close to serving if you want them to be warm. So it’s not the type of thing you can prepare for that far in advance, despite how much you might want to.
If you can’t sleep, don’t try to sleep, because you won’t sleep. You won't sleep before important days, so just use the time to prepare.
Don’t take anything for granted when working with a venue- know everything they have available, and everyone who will be there. It’s easier to freestyle when you’re well informed.
When shooting in NYC: Use Film emporium for production insurance. Rent a van to store the equipment, and find secure garages to store the van overnight.
When in NYC, wear a mask on the subway because YOU WILL GET SICK!!!!
DO NOT mix business and pleasure!!!!!!!!
How a self tape LOOKS is a big factor. Substance is important, but so is polish.
There will always be a reason why it doesn’t make sense to compare yourself to someone.
Death is easy, breakups are hard!!!!
Awkwardness is a feature of life, not a flaw!
If you make stuff, you will always have something in common with anyone else who makes stuff.
Tattoos are as expensive as a plane ticket.
Stingray venom needs to be COOKED in scalding hot water. On a similar note, applying a tourniquet should hurt more than the wound!
Having options for easy books and options for hard books will make you better at reading.
Know when to persevere and when to give up- life takes both.
Start early, there will always be more to do.
When traveling, stay with locals when possible.
Vacations are not about sleeping- you can do things tired.
Wear a wetsuit when surfing
Coffee is a drug that can sometimes be dangerous in the morning and useful at night, or the opposite.
People make the world what it is
If you need to cry on screen, your scene partners will help, but crying is not the measure of good acting
Regular makeup will not cover up tattoos.
Shaving your asshole is really hard
Reserve a parking spot in advance when going downtown
When trying to get a job, editing cover letters and resumes individually for the job will ultimately get you farther than a million “Easy apply” submissions on Linkedin
When unemployed, eating vegetarian helps save money
Stick and pokes hurt more than machine tattoos- TO ME!!
Everything you need to eat like an adult is at the farmers market.
Boats are not inherently big, there are many different sizes of boats, and the ones your friends can afford are likely small boats- know that before you get on the boat
You’re gonna mess up some lines on opening night.
The best way to have confidence in your public speaking is to write good jokes.
Going to the beach on the first nice day of the year is not an original idea. There will be traffic.
Skipping rocks with people who have not skipped rocks before will bring back the magic of skipping rocks for the first time.
Picking someone up along the way takes more time than you will think, and adds time to the end. But driving with people is more fun than driving alone.
Driving to the airport also means driving back from the airport. Whenever possible, fly out of Burbank.
Let go of things you lose: blankets, sunglasses, hats, photos, people
There are no small parts, only small actors!
I will never do anything every day. The purpose of a routine is to fall off of it and back onto it.
Vaseline on cotton balls can help start a fire. Put kindling in the middle and make a trio of logs on top. Everything after that is vibe-based.
You can be as honest as possible as often as possible as long as you have tact.
Follow-through feels good for you, and others.
Cooking in advance for visitors will make them feel at home.
“Stopping by” is the best way to be at a party.
Staying flexible and holding dreams softly makes them easier to hang onto.
Train for endurance.
As someone who makes art, you will always be at home in an artistic environment no matter how rich the people there look and how poor you might feel
The gap between imagination and execution is logistics
Cruises suck
Dancing is expressing yourself without words :)
Nicotine sucks even if many cool people make it seem awesome… sorry… hot take…
An electric clipper and razor will let you put off paying a haircut for quite some time, but not forever.
When recording a vocal track, record doubles. When performing a song (as a nonprofessional musician), always have vocals on a backing track.
Cooking something both spicy and sweet is an easy way to seem more impressive at cooking.
Have a couple go to karaoke songs that you know the VERSES to as well as the chorus.
You can get rid of pantry moths through traps, and prevent them by sealing your food in glass or thick-plastic containers.
When the camera is on you at a red carpet event, relax.
Being insecure about how your body looks will not change it, it will just make the pool party less fun!
A risky hair choice will teach you who you are inside…
Riding horses hurts the pelvis area, some horses require a lot of physical force to move.
Black hair CAN be bleached! Use toner afterwards!
Creatively, there is a difference between interesting and good. The only time it really matters though is when making a perfume.
One printed photo is worth 1,000 in the cloud.
Start with easy origami before doing hard origami.
The Pacific Ocean is too strong to swim in leisurely- TO ME!!!!!
Cheap suits look fine
Music festivals are better investments than individual concerts.
You don’t have to know everything about music theory to jam with your friends, but you do have to know your scales.
Cooking together when a friend is in town is as practical as it is fun.
Get the bagel toasted no matter what the NYC kids say.
Being interpersonally funny and professionally funny are two entirely different things.
Effort and reward are never equally or predictably matched. But the crazier and impractical the decision, the more intangible and wonderful the payoff.
Helmets, eye protection, and pads help against rubber bullets.
Whenever a microphone is being used, dedicate time to checking the microphones.
Memorization is easiest when you’re relaxed.
Do not edit before you’ve finished the draft. Never lock a final draft. Kill your darlings, never be precious.
Most of the right things come easily.
Being responsive is the best reputation.
Don’t let paperwork pile up- deal with admin stuff quickly.
If you understand LA traffic, you will engage with LA traffic much less
A direct invite sells more tickets than an instagram story. But instagram stories keep you top of mind, and help you source things.
Don’t go solely with or against the grain; know how to do both, and when to do which
Driving 90 min to Malibu or Orange County is a better way of going to the beach than going 45 min to Santa Monica or Venice. However, the best way to go to the beach is to drive 30 minutes to your friends’ place and then go with them 10 min to Playa Del Rey.
“Take a step towards god, and he will take two steps towards you” THIS IS TRUE BUT SOMETIMES HE WILL BE WEARING A HALLOWEEN COSTUME
Format your hard drive as EXFAT the second you get it
Pay the parking ticket the second you get it (WORK IN PROGRESS)
Export video at H.264
Winning isn’t everything, but learn how to do it anyway.
Unfortunately, you will never regret kindness.
People don't care if your house is spotless before a party, but after a party is a good time to get it there.
Working on yourself and being there for others are not two separate things, in many ways they are the same.
If you need extra folding chairs, ask a church.
*Cue Pomp and Circumstance*
Love this fam. Happy LA graduation :)
Haaa i must say those 100 tips were simply fantastic. rly hit the spot - needed that rn